corey's hall of bad hair

Short people -- unless they've done something very, very wrong in a previous life -- tend to have good hair. I call this the Height/Hair Compensatory Ratio. But just because someone has good hair does not mean he knows how to do good things with it...

1
    Please, someone, steal my milk money.

2     Laugh all you want, it wasn't funny to me. I was 18 years old in this photo. 3
  Nothing says attractive like a center-parted, feathered coif and pencil-darkened mustache. 		4
    No. 1 with a mullet.
5
 Thank you, Steve Gerraputa, for allowing me in your band despite my mis-'do-ings. Now at least something was cool about me. 		6
     Ah, the drunken college bad-hair years. Shh, not many people know about the nosejob. 		7
      Guess who Mullethead met once? Yes, it's true. That really is Eric Becker from Hewlett, Long Island on the right. The guy on the left had a mullet in the '70s. But he knew enough to restyle by the '80s. Not me.
8
    Hey, wow, I don't look short next to Davy Jones of the Monkees! But I don't look good, either. This was a (thankfully) short-lived period. 		9
 Every day was a bad-hair day in 1988. 		10
       Proof that not everyone who plays guitar in a band gets laid. (I still have that jacket.)
11
What better way to correct for short-in-front/long-in-back than by committing the exact opposite hair mistake? In defense of the John Cougar thing, though, I did dig it...		 12
 ... until it started doing this all the time. Plus, it was more of a Flock of Seagulls thing anyway. 		13
      When I caved in and decided to start growing all my hair long, I suddenly became a babe magnet. Here I am with Cindy one night after having sex. (Anyone notice that one of us is bending down so we look the same height?)
14
        But not everyone was into my Jeff Spiccoli look. Check out how embarrassed my good friend Stefan Adika is to be seen with hippie Corey. (Even wearing that shirt, he's embarrassed!)		 15
        My locks grew so long, I was even forced by law to join the hair-metal band Poison at one point. (P.S. Those were my clothes, not my mom's. I was proud at the time.)
16
          Whew, Ozzy digs my mane. I'm cool again. Still, deep down, I could see barber poles in my future.
VOTE FOR COREY'S WORST HAIR
PIC 1
 PIC 2
 PIC 3
 PIC 4
 PIC 5 		PIC 6
PIC 7
PIC 8
 PIC 9
 PIC 10 		PIC 11
PIC 12
PIC 13
 PIC 14
 PIC 15 		PIC 16
PIC 17
 PIC 18
 PIC 19
     Check Results    
17
  Life with this hairstyle was spinning out of control. How retro could I get?
18
        One does not quit long hair cold turkey, however. 		19
        "Son, are you gay? You can tell me."
back to home page