We Bring a Sea Lion Whisperer to La Jolla Cove, Because Why Not?

By COREY LEVITAN

Brigitte Noel sits on a portable chair on the rocks at La Jolla Cove, Sept. 19. She concentrates on a male and female sea lion surrounded by pups.

Lots of voices have chimed in on this hot-button La Jolla issue. One that’s decidedly missing is that of the sea lions themselves. Noel, an animal psychic, agreed to try opening a channel.

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Riding in Cars with Jews

By COREY LEVITAN

Of all the reasons someone turns down a ride I offer them, none will be more memorable than “I’m sorry, but I can’t ride in a car with a Jew.” Jimmy and I were shelf-stackers at the Foodtown in Oceanside, Long Island. After the grocery store closed for the night, we and three others neatened the aisles, either “dummying” (bringing items forward) or “leveling” the decimated shelves. The job paid minimum wage and I was thrilled to earn it. Jimmy, who was Irish Catholic, seemed like a solid dude. He was funny, polite and – the most important thing to me at the time – not a virgin at age 16. And boy, would he regale me with stories of how not a virgin he was.

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7 Rules For Adulthood That You Learn From Hanging Out With a Bunch Of Kids For a Week: You discover a lot about yourself—and the world—when you act like a 9-year-old

By COREY LEVITAN

Social experiments are kind of my forte. I’ve done lots of questionable things for Men’s Health—like, for example, spending an entire day covered from head to toe in lube—all loosely in the name of journalism. 

So when my 5-year-old daughter recently started hanging out with the kids in our neighborhood, I decided to join her. But there was a catch: I wanted to be one of them.

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My Life As a ‘Sploshing’ Fetish Star

By COREY LEVITAN

I’m standing in my underwear in the Las Vegas living room of fetish porn star Olivia Rose, dripping with shaving cream. Rose, a voluptuous 30-something redhead who stands five-foot-four but adds a foot in attitude, has pied me in the face eight times (actually, seven, because the last two pies were delivered concurrently). But I suppose it’s been for a good cause. Within two or three months, hundreds of guys with a specific sexual proclivity will have paid $8.99 to watch – and probably rewatch – a video of my humiliation.

The fetish, which is called WAM (wet and messy) or “sploshing,” involves the smearing of food or another liquid or sticky substance all over a person’s body.

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I Was A Professional Man Snuggler

By COREY LEVITAN

I’m a straight man. I watch sports, surf Pornhub, and I’m married to a lovely woman who sometimes even agrees to have sex with me.

But recently, I agreed to the strangest intimate experience of my life: I was chosen to snuggle by a beefy dude who spotted my photo on a professional cuddling site.

Let me explain. I pitched this stunt to Maxim as an exploration of the weird world of professional cuddlers. Non-sexual cuddling was supposedly created in 2004 by two New York City relationship coaches as a way to reintroduce intimacy to young people living increasing percentages of their lives online.

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I Hired a Content Farm to Write About How Content Farms are Ruining Journalism

By COREY LEVITAN

Short of ideas for articles, I turned for help, as so many businesses do, to outsourcing. In 2004, the U.S. outsourced $104.6 billion in services. And thanks to the rise of online job marketplaces, hiring cheap labor for one-time projects is now possible even for a sole business proprietor like me.

iWriter is one of several content farms offering original web content on the jarringly cheap. Instead of professional writers, they employ amateurs -- the premise being that the distinction is no longer relevant since no one reads discriminately enough anymore to perceive it.

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The Terrifying Truth about What It’s Like to Spend a Night in Jail

By COREY LEVITAN

I was nearly beaten and killed because of a speeding ticket. And not by the police, either—at least not directly. This can happen to you, too, if you're dumb enough to rely on your dumb friends for legal advice.

I got the citation about a week before moving from New York to California. My timing was amazing—at least according to Scott Klein, the high school buddy I used to funnel kegs with. He told me to ignore it because New York and California don't share computer records. California won't know and I won't have my New York license anymore.

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What Happens if You Invite a Rich Celebrity to Dinner and He Says Yes?

By COREY LEVITAN

One day, you’re watching a celebrity on your living-room TV. A week later, he’s watching that same TV with you, as your dog humps his leg.

My wife spotted George Maloof, multimillionaire tabloid fixture, at a media party in his Las Vegas casino, the Palms—recognizing him from a commercial in which he co-starred with a pig. She broke away from the chat I was conducting with other journalists and introduced herself to him as my wife.

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This Guy Isn’t an Expert on Anything, but People Are Lining Up for His Advice

By COREY LEVITAN

It's a given that we’re willing to consider sources with dubious credentials to be experts. It’s like we want to believe that Dr. Phil is a licensed psychologist and that Wikipedia isn't compiled by crazy people.

But just how far are we willing to stretch that desire to believe in the people telling us how to eat, vote, love, raise children, and choose investments?

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